Fear in the driving seating of your life? If it must come for the ride ask it to sit quietly in the back instead. It might just transform your life.
Fear and I go way back.
It was my constant companion when I was in the corporate world and kept me firmly in my place. I relied on it to keep me in my comfort zone by reminding me there was to much to risk if I did what I truly wanted to do and left the corporate world. It halted my dream of setting up my own business and if I am truly honest it distinguished my spark, my zest for life and my confidence.
I kept quiet on conference calls where I could have spoken. I convinced myself I wasn’t as capable or bright as others, I squashed my desire for change by reminding myself that I was a grown up and had bills to pay and I set about doing what fear loves best - conforming.
I let my attachment to my ego of working for a consultancy take charge and threw all my creativity, passion and dreams out the window. Fear was running the show and my true being, my real self just had to take a back seat and get on with it. It was for want of a better word - exhausting.
Then something magical happened. I was at the check out in Sainsbury’s and someone asked me what I did. Rather than defaulting to my usual line of “I work for a consultancy’ I said “I am setting up a coaching business.” For that split moment I decided to ignore what people thought of me and vocalised what I wanted. I did it for that inner me and as it turns out in the hope that the universe was listening.
The funny thing it was like an instant energy hit - like a flame had been reignited in me and I realised that my fear of being judged, of not fitting in, of taking risks had meant that I had been settling for something I wasn’t. It was then that fear and I had stern words and I decided it no longer got to call the shots.
That decision has been the best I’ve ever made. That small act of rebellion has meant that I’ve been prepared to take many more risks. I’ve left the corporate world and set up a successful and highly profitable coaching business. I don’t settle for anything other than a complete connection with who I really am and what I really want. I embrace my foibles and the diluted, repressed version of myself has gone. I shine brightly and want you to do so too.
So this article is for you. For those of you who are fearful about what people think, of change, of being who you really are. I urge you to stop fear running the show. As long as it does you are always going to find reasons not to do something, to not start that new venture or hobby, to not leave relationships or situations that are no longer saving you.
Your life and you are too precious to not step up to being who you really are and who you really want to be. The world needs your authentic self and your spark. That unique, real you that is desperate to come out. Let it. Start with a small act of rebellion each day that allows positivity, self belief and hope in the driving seat. You will never look back.
My top 6 tips for pushing past fear:
Watch what you are focusing on as it will grow. Focus on what will go right and not wrong. What you want and not what you don’t. This is life changing. The universe will always reflect back to you what you think about, so make it positive.
If people want to label you as “too” something [too loud, bossy, ambitious, different] then let them. There opinion doesn’t concern you and is much more a reflection of the way they view themselves than about you.
Think about what your higher self [the non scared] version would tell you when you look to make a decision that feels fearful. What advice does he/she have?
When you come up against obstacles, see them as opportunities. People or situations which seem negative are often our greatest lesson.
Sit down and be honest about what you want your life to look like and what you are yearning for. Start putting these plans into action. One step at a time.
Acknowledge fear may show it’s head but make a commitment that it doesn’t get to make all your decisions. Thank it for it’s input, acknowledge you’ve heard it but choose to take the road of positivity instead.